F*ck Satan, Eat a Banana | Christa Pike & Moises Meraz-Espinoza
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Episode 18
Satanic Panic - a phrase you may have heard a few times in the past. Nothing makes people squirm quite like Satan can. From people like Richard Ramirez to the Son of Sam, satanic murders are nothing rare... unfortunately.
Today's episode is about two lesser-known teen killers who were inspired by Satan and had one thing in common... the urge to participate in a human sacrifice. Ew. Also... Not today, Satan! Starting us off, Brandon dives into the story of Christa Pike, a troubled teen with a trauma-filled past and some mental health issues.
This story has its ups and downs and will leave you asking - why did you have to grab the meat cleaver?! Then Kevin finishes the episode with the shocking tale of Moises Meraz-Espinoza, an 18-year-old who took revenge on his mother, who happened not to like his choice in music. Well, that and his obsession with satanic rituals.
Satanism and Atheism are often equated, and as two gay dudes that have no religious affiliation whatsoever, we feel like it’s important to note that just because we’re not going to God’s house every weekend does NOT mean we condone human sacrifice. And guess what? Neither do most Satanists! Confused? Tune in because we’re getting into it!
Like... can we all agree some people shouldn't have access to the internet? If you enjoy the episode, please leave us a review and 5-star rating, and be sure to subscribe to our podcast! And lastly, if you have a little Homotown murder you want to share with us, send it over to murder@homocidepodcast.com.
Resources and References
Learn more about Christa Pike:
Learn more about Moises Meraz-Espinoza:
Transcript
Wait, did I ever tell you about that? I don't know if I've shown you this, but I have a picture from one of my foster homes where we're like in the mountains and we were fishing and I'm literally looking, everyone's looking at the camera, smiling, and I'm like this.
You're probably just in your old world. It was, it was probably a butterfly and I was like, wow, look at the butterfly. And then I just, why a butterfly looks like I was, you were a homo since birth. That's for sure. Thank you for that news. Thank you for that jazz and all that jazz.
What are we doing? We have to do our intro. We have a podcast. That's what we're doing. We're podcasting. We normally just sit here and Do you think that people would actually be interested in hearing this talk or are they like, shut the fuck up? Um, I'm sure a little bit of both. Welcome [00:01:00] to homicide, the podcast.
I'm Kevin and I'm Brandon and hi. Hello. Hello. Are you going to go do the actual intro? Welcome to homicide, the podcast, which I already did. And I said my name. Are you forgetting where we are? We're at the top of the show. So basically today, not today. I'm lost. Okay. Homicide. The podcast is your new favorite podcast.
True crime. Po I'm a mess today. You are. It, you took this one. It's the, it's the two, uh, old fashioned you had this afternoon at lunch. It's probably short. Delicious, delicious pecan, old fashioned . And if you've never had that, you're missing out . Um, but yeah, some side, the podcast is your new favorite Gay True Crime podcast.
Can we still call ourselves new? Because we are like, this is episode eight, episode in. I mean, I think we could call ourselves aggressively. I was like [00:02:00] 18. I think we can call ourselves new if we want to call ourselves. Okay. I'm going to reframe this. Homicide the podcast is your favorite gay true crime podcast hosted by your favorite two homosexuals.
We should be your favorite. Um, who, and this is just a statement of health who feel like probiotics, therapy and chocolate matter in your life. Okay. Sure. So take that how you will. Yep. Um, okay. What can your story be described as today? Zero judgment. Wonderful, wonderful intro. Thank you for that. I'm glad we got through it.
Thank you. My story today is. Uh, on the only woman on Tennessee's death row. Tennessee. Okay. Well, mine can be described as something bad, something gross and something scary. Okay. And that is not my title. But it never, that's what can it be [00:03:00] described as. So today's episode 18. Oh, I know. I can't believe it's 18 already.
And this episode is titled Fuck Satan, Eat a Banana. Again, these, the titles for this episode are just very interesting. Remember last night when we were sitting on the couch super high and I was like, Oh my God, the episode should be called Fuck Satan, Eat a Banana. And I laughed hysterically and looked at you and you were just staring at me.
Like why? Piece of poop. Why a banana? Bananas are full of potassium. I just didn't see the correlation. I liked my title better. What was your title? Um, I don't remember. Yeah, exactly. Minds. It was, it was better. Admittedly better. I did say, I think one of them that I said was sincerely Satan. Oh, inspired by Satan is what I said.
That's so lame. You're lame. Fuck. Go eat a banana. I will do that. Go eat a banana. I'm going to eat lots of bananas all day. I'm going to be rich in potassium. I'm so rich in [00:04:00] vitamins, which we say vitamins, by the way, we don't say vitamins. Brendan and I take a daily dose of vitamins. Um, and of those vitamins, potassium is not one.
So. So we get that from our bananas, our bananas. Yep. We'll go eat a banana. Eat a banana. I'm going to shove a banana in your butt. Okay. Anyway. No, just kidding. I won't. Uh, just don't eat that banana. Preferably. Some people probably would. I'm sure they would. No judgment if that's your thing. This is probably some sort of porn out there where somebody's sticking a banana up somebody's butthole.
I'm certain there are videos out there of people doing that and we've lost all of our followers. Right. There you go. Was like, yeah, he was like that kid's, um, he was a kid's TV, like YouTuber. I don't think Blippi, wait, maybe it wasn't. No, it was. And he like, had a video out there where he was, I don't know.
I didn't watch it. It was gross. Which if, okay. Let's talk about this because there is [00:05:00] something called scat play. Ooh, yeah. Which is when you play with each other's pooh poohs. Pooh poohs. Which we do not do. Oh! But we No, thank you. We Mmm Yeah, I can't get behind it. But If you do it That's great. It's great for you.
This is a judgment phrase, though. I'm not, I am, I, nope, I am. I am. I'm judging. I'm trying my best not to. But, um, yeah, everyone has their own fantasies. This episode is going real weird already. It really is. This is why we shouldn't be alone. Or maybe people are like, they're funny. I don't know. I think so.
But these are the conversations Brandon and I have on our own. When we're not recording. No. And for some reason we decided to put microphones in front of our faces to have these conversations in this long winded intro. Um, so Brandon, how are you? I am doing great. What's new? I don't know. Have you eaten a banana today?
I [00:06:00] have not eaten a banana today. Well, have you shot on somebody's chest? I, um, I have not done that yet. I mean, the day is still early. It's only 536. Who knows what will happen. The day is young. Is it really 536? It is. On the day that the podcast should have come out. It was supposed to be released, so.
Sorry friends, we're a day late. And it's all a short wonder what that saying comes from. I don't know. It's probably just a dollar short. It probably ends up being something awful. Cause all of those, I know some sort of racist type of, yeah, Jesus H Christ. That's also probably something. Uh, okay. So life is good, right?
Yeah. Life is you're doing this. I do realize that like the last few episodes, we have not had Marty because. Well, I don't know why. So we usually were, we were having her picture. I know it is back behind us. It is. Yeah. So Marty's spirit is, um, abound. Um, okay. [00:07:00] Well, I'm glad your life is great. How was your life?
Thank you for asking me. I was waiting. I was waiting to have your interest in me. This is our marriage. I am so interested in Brandon and then he's like, thank you. And that's it. It's so not true. Uh, I'm fine. Thank you. Okay, great. So glad we got that out of the fucker way. Oh no. Um, yeah, we, um, I don't know.
We got your Jeep back today. We, we lent our Jeep to one of our team members who got in a car accident. So we've been without Brandon's little Wrangler. For a month, it is breaking news. It's the most important thing, but also our team members. So sweet. She went and got it cleaned and yeah, it was super nice.
It was really, yeah, it's super sweet. So. I mean, we lent it to her for a month. So it was the least you could do. Just kidding. I'm kidding. She's a little, is this in office? Road road. I love you. You know that. But anyway, [00:08:00] um, yeah, no feeling good. We've been in Tampa for a hot minute and I'm definitely missing New York a little bit.
Oh yeah. Me too. Yeah. But we'll be back up there soon. Um, that's our apartment toe. And, uh, but it's great to be back here at the agency and we've had some really big kind of campaigns that we're working on. Yeah. All that kind of stuff. So it's been nice to be back, uh, at our agency in general. So it has been, but it's been like ridiculously busy.
Yeah. Which no, no complaining at all. We are so incredibly, um, fortunate and thankful to have such a successful, uh, business and amazing clients. And yeah, I have no qualms there. Um, certainly, but you know, I've definitely worked until midnight several times. I would, yeah, it'd be great with like a little nap.
Yeah. Or like a, like a, a good bell movement without thinking about work. But instead I'm like going through my email. I'm taking a shit. I mean it's better than thinking about Scott play. Well, I have never in my life thought of that other than to be like, you know, gross. Yeah. [00:09:00] Which again, to each their own.
Yeah. Wasn't there, I was reading, what did I read about somebody loving to be thrown up on? Oh, you're reading that. Oh, that book. It's a great book, Slep. Really, really great book. Um, in general, but there was a section where he, um, like divulges one of his fantasies is like somebody going down on him and like choking and throwing up, which yeah, uh, you, but yeah, I'm not, not for me, any kind of bodily fluids, anything that comes out of your body.
I don't need to be a part of now. Have you been peed on before? I have not been peed on before. Do not ask me that question. I'm not going to ask you that question. My parents watched this. I know somebody, somebody has peed on me before and they will never do it again. And that somebody was Brandon.
Jesus. So, so now I'm sufficiently uncomfortable. Gotten a little red. It was awkward and we don't need [00:10:00] to talk about it on a podcast. And that's it. That's the only thing we're going to tell you. Your parents probably think we play with each other's poop or something, but we don't. So that's sure. They don't even think about us playing with each other.
We do have non negotiables in our life and that's one. Yeah. No poop. . No. Throw up. No. Yeah. No, no, no. And no p honestly. Anyways. Yeah. Back to murder. . . Alright, I'm glad. Your life is great. Um, okay, so if you're still with us, hopefully you are. Um, please remember to subscribe. Uh, watch us on YouTube if you'd like to see stupid facial expressions and us.
I don't know. Uh, we are on YouTube at homicide, the podcast, so, uh, go give us a little subscribe. Uh, but then also please follow us, uh, and, uh, rate and review, uh, please rate and review. Um, if you are listening, which we have lots of listeners like out of the country, in the country, um, Numbers are kind of growing up, which is pretty exciting, [00:11:00] which we do love some Australian men.
So if that's a you, leave us a review. And then Brandon, he went away. How long has that not been working? It's been working. I've heard. Yeah. Don't you worry. Thank you. I'm so grateful. Just kidding. Yeah. No, we have some Australians. Yeah. Which I can't do an Australian accent other than saying that's not annoying.
That's all I can do. So, uh, if you are one of those lovely people, please say hello and write and review us. But anybody, yes, please. We, we would love to hear from you, hear what you think about the podcast. So please send us some information. Or slash rate and review information on what your homotown murders.
Of course. That would be amazing. Yes. Email us your homotown murder. And then you could be on the podcast with us and tell us, and actually we're going to have somebody on soon. Yeah. We have a few people that have been saying they're really good to us for like a month. A few rude. We won't call you out [00:12:00] Brianna or we will.
Andrew. Yeah. Hillary will be doing one. Yeah. And Julia said he, Julia said he's going to do one too. Julia said, we just had, Oh my God, it was pride this weekend. It was pride. In, uh, in Tampa, which if you don't know Tampa, it's actually a pretty great, uh, city in general, but the gay community is pretty awesome here.
So we went to pride and actually we brought your parents. We did, which was the first time. And it was really, really, it was so awesome and how fortunate that, that we get to experience that. With your parents as somebody who's married to you, but also as your parents, it's a lot of people don't get to experience that.
I completely agree. It's pretty awesome. But we did see Julius. Um, and if you aren't familiar with Julius, uh, which I don't know how you would be, but now you will be, um, follow him on social. He is walking with Julius. He's, um, on a, A journey of health and he is awesome and, uh, he'll be on the podcast soon.
And, uh, we actually had a mini version of a podcast before we used to talk a lot of shit called sub basic [00:13:00] podcast with him and Marissa and, uh, Jason was on. And. Yeah, no, that's not around anymore. Here we are. Anyway. Okay. So today's episode fuck Satan, eat a banana. Yeah. Um, Brandon, I think you go first today.
I do. And I'm excited because I like my story. Yeah. However, when I looked it up there, it sounded like it was more satanic than it actually is. So, so that's why mine's more inspired by Satan, but it's still a really good story. So you wanted to make a time. I mean, it's interesting. It's more about you.
Without thinking about other, I mean, of course. Yeah. All right. I'm sorry. You also said that yours is lighter on the Satan side. That's why I said inspired by, should we now, instead of saying Satan, call him Satan. Not to be confused by satan, which all of our vegan friends out there. Yes. Delicious.
Alternative to me. [00:14:00] It's um, Satan. But Satan is different than Satan. Yes. All right. So instead we're saying fuck Satan, eat a banana. We're dumb. All right. You did all of that. You're welcome for this excitement in your life. I appreciate you so much. What would your life be without me? Really boring. I'm sure if you asked some people, they'd be like, you'd be better.
Same for you though, love. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. It would be better. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I mean, we could end it. You're my, wow. In today's the last episode of the podcast, the two husbands hosting got divorced. Great. No. Oh my God. Okay. Not yet. We have literally just talked bullshit for the last 15 minutes.
If you're still here, thank you. We appreciate you too. That just got real weird. It did. And, uh, we're here for that. Yeah. So [00:15:00] if you would like to, uh, start, I'm down. I think that would be great. And then if you're still hanging on, here is your first murder. Murder. Murder. Wasn't there a song that was like murder?
It was really, I don't dunno, I don't remember it. Okay. God, I am, I have a DHD, clearly you and it's like in full force right now. Well I was in the sun and I had cocktails and here we are. So , uh, Brandon, lucky for all of our friends listening. Need to shut the fuck up and you need to go. Okay. I mean, if you would allow me Go
Okay. Alright. So have you ever heard of Job Corps? I have. My sister was in Job Corps. Of course. Yeah, that's where she met her, well, six husbands ago. Um, yeah, it's where she met my niece and nephew's dad actually in Roswell, New Mexico. Yeah. I don't know if I knew that I was expecting you to say no. [00:16:00] Oh no.
Okay. So for those who don't know what Job Corps is, so according to Google Job Corps provides low income young adults with free training to jumpstart their careers. Job Corps is the nation's largest free residential career train career training Training and education program for eligible people age 16 to 24.
So it's basically a federally funded technical training and educational program that helps disadvantaged youth and it targets troubled teens and tells them that they can help turn their lives around by joining the program. So students live in dorms on campus and take Uh, classes and industries like manufacturing, health care, construction, homeland security, hospitality and more.
Homeland security. I thought that was a weird one, but I took that right from their website. Okay. Um, so, however, um, there's, there's a lot of stories out there that are really positive and good stories. However, there's also ones that are out there that talk about Job Corps as a hot bed for criminal activity.
And it sounds a lot like, um, a documentary that we [00:17:00] just watched on Netflix. Uh, called the pro, uh, it's called the program cons, cults and kidnapping, and it dives into the troubled teen industry, uh, which was, which this one was that that one was about the school that was up in, um, England, right? Like not too far.
It was in. Yeah. Uh, why am I forgetting the name? It was in upstate New York. It was in upstate New York, but they have, um, uh, locations throughout the U S it's part of this, um, big con conglomerate. I think that's the right word, um, of schools that are, it's like a moneymaker for, for yeah. Troubled youth for their parents to go in and send them in there.
But it's like a huge cult really targeting the parents of those kids. Yeah. I think Paris Hilton was in one. She was in one, she was in one like Provo something, something like that. I can't remember the one that the other night that, but this documentary that Brandon just mentioned, go watch it. It is incredible.
Um, I mean, it was called [00:18:00] Ivy Ridge Academy, Ivy, Oh my Lord. Yeah. Ivy Ridge. I just said, Oh my Lord. Um, yeah. So, and my, my other sister, uh, Kim, my biological sister, Kim, she was in one. uh, Colorado, not related to the same owners, but, um, she was at one. It was for the trouble teen industry. Yeah. It was the trouble team, which is huge, but, uh, she was at one called Excelsior and Aurora, Colorado.
Yeah. So, and it's, I mean, from the stories that these women tell, it's a really awful, uh, Um, an awful industry that shouldn't really exist and it just takes advantage and takes advantage and it's basically a place for abusers to get away with abusing children, which is awesome. I actually remember something on the documentary where they were like, schools like that are the perfect place for pedophiles to go.
Oh yeah. Um, because they can actually go and rape and molest. Kids and then manipulate everybody around them and because they're not regulated Yeah, these schools are not [00:19:00] regulated which is fucked high elected officials right do something about that exactly anyway So again, I did see a lot of stories in opinions that came up that, um, that job court did help them in that they were there to help.
However, this story is based on one that seems as to be a bad experience. So I wanted to add that little caveat into the story before I got into it. So on January 12th of 1995, an argument broke out at the now closed Job Corps center in Knoxville, Tennessee, between 19 year old Colleen Sellner, Selmer, sorry.
And 18 year old Krista Pike over 17 year old, uh, to Darryl ship, uh, Krista and to Darryl. We're dating for some time, but his name was to Darryl. Yes. It's about T a D a R Y L to Darryl to Darryl to Darryl. Okay. Yep. Um, So they started dating, um, and they started dabbling together in, in the occult and devil worship, right?
Um, and then together along with their friend, the Shadola, um, it said that [00:20:00] they started to get more interested in Satanism. Um, and a lot of people said that they, uh, practice Satanism. To Darryl and Shadola. Yep. To Darryl, Shadola and Krista. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Um, so oftentimes they would also be heard, overheard talking in the halls about, uh, part taste participating in a human sacrifice.
Yeah. Well, eventually, uh, Krista started to believe that Colleen wanted to be with to Darryl. Um, there were rumors that she was flirting with him. I'm in that she wanted to steal him from Krista. Um, and she wasn't really having it. Uh, it was even quoted that she told to Daryl that little whore has to be taught a lesson.
Yeah. So as our teenagers, these are teenagers in this job core program. So on January 12th, Krista and her friend, uh, Shadola Shadola Peterson, uh, devised a plan to confront Colleen. But this is wasn't like your normal like, Hey, I want to confront you about this. This is premeditated planning. [00:21:00] Well, and ultimately, you know, like these, these schools that like, there are troubled teens in there, so there's definitely levels of aggression and violence that I think.
Yeah, permeates those. Yeah, and it's marketed towards people towards people who have dropped out of high school kids who Are dropped or got kicked out of their homes or needed a fresh start as an idea that they would help but then they're in Fairly abusive environment. So they're just supported in there.
Yeah instead of healing. Yeah. Yeah. Geez. Anyway, so So the plan would start off, uh, with a peace offering. So with the guise of wanting to make amends, the ladies asked Colleen to join them in a shared weed break at the abandoned, uh, steam mill that was on the property of the school. Uh, within a close walking distance from the main campus, the mill offered a secluded place hidden in woods away from others.
So Colleen agreed and she signed out of the dorm alongside Krista, Shadola, and Tadero [00:22:00] And they all proceeded into the woods. Well, Colleen didn't know into the woods. Anyway, sorry. It's not that kind of woods. Um, what Colleen didn't know, um, was Krista didn't have just weed on her. She also made sure to grab a box cutter and a small meat cleaver on their way out, get a meat cleaver.
It's such a, like, it's such a distinct, but like, where did you get a meat cleaver? Well, I mean part of Job Corps are the different working and they're working the trades and culinary is one and I believe to Daryl was in culinary Yeah, so okay. So before I go any further, I wanted to shift gears a bit and give some insight into Krista So, uh, to say that Chris had a normal upgrade upbringing would be like the farthest from the truth.
Sure. Um, so she was born in 1976 to parents, Carissa Hanson and Emil Glenn Pike in Beckley, West Virginia. Um, and Krista had a very traumatic [00:23:00] upbringing, um, born with brain damage and malformation of the brain based on alcohol abuse of her pregnant mother. Even the times before she was born could have, could be said, uh, to have set her up for what she would turned into.
So with seizures as an infant. The signs of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder were ever present. Um, and just, um, just after two short years of life, her parents who had a tumultuous relationship, uh, called it quits after Carissa was found to be cheating. Um, however, from what I read, uh, whether they were together or apart, the couple was very physically and emotionally abusive to Christa.
Um, I even saw a quote from an aunt who mentioned seeing Christa in, in, in quotes, crawling around through piles of dog stool all over the house. So I think that comes a really big picture into what she was living in. So, however, the abuse didn't only lie in her parents. So for one, it was reported that the age of nine, she was sexually assaulted by a neighbor.[00:24:00]
She also had a really strong relationship with her grandmother. However, it's reported that her grandmother's boyfriend had potentially Potentially abused her for years and when she was 13 it turned into sexual assault. Um, the trauma bill throughout the years, um, eventually developing bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress syndrome.
And at the age of 12 it drove her to even have a failed attempted suicide by trying to overdose on Tylenol. Yeah. So she's, she already has gone through quite some, quite, Some just shit. So after some time the assault from her grandmother's boyfriend Child services stepped in and removed Krista from the house.
However, just three months later. She was returned back to the same house Which made her feel like no one was there to help her Then by the age of 17 Krista was sexually assaulted again by a stranger What the fuck? Yeah. Which I do think. So she, was she a little bit, um, did she have a mental disability then?
For sure. [00:25:00] She had a lot, she had a lot of different things. And so I even read one piece that said, um, even after she was diagnosed with some of these things, she didn't have the support at home to follow through with anything. So she never found anybody to help her because nobody was there to help guide her.
noting that sexual assault happens a lot on people who Um, on disabled people and like, regardless of the level of that, because I, like even my biological mom who is, you know, she's deaf, but, um, and there's a lot there, but, uh, I'm sure she had always kind of spoken about sexual assaults that, that happened to her and a lot, there's a lot that goes into that, but I do know in a sense that, that oftentimes, um, women with disability, uh, are targeted.
sexual assault. And so, and it's sick. So first off, it's all sick. But, um, this kind of this targeted, you know, with these people, it's just, yeah. Yeah. [00:26:00] Okay. So, um, um, struggling with school, Chris eventually dropped out of high school and with her free time, she started to act out even more. She was already drinking and partying and all of that kind of stuff.
And she eventually got detained for shoplifting. Um, and by 1994, Chris was trying to figure out what to do. So she just decided to join the local job core, um, and trained to be a nurse just like her mother. However, according to an article I read, um, on a site called mercy for Christa, which I'll get into later, um, she didn't know what, uh, was in store for her.
Uh, the program was full of violence and allegedly students would walk around with razor blades for protection, which, yeah, which only caused her trauma from childhood to get even worse. So, eventually, Krista met Tadaro, who was studying culinary arts, and from the beginning, they were a match which ended up making them get into trouble more than anything else because of their relationship.
So, back to the night of January 12th, 1995, um, the [00:27:00] group signed out of the dorms, um, and they made their way into the woods. Pretty soon into their walk, when Krista realized that no one would be able to see them, she immediately kind of went at Colleen, asking her questions and accusing her of trying to sleep with, to Daryl.
Um, all of which, um, uh, Colleen denied, which only angered Krista more. Um, so this is where the trigger warning should come in because it gets a little graphic. It's not too crazy, but it's a little graphic. Um, so quickly Krista got angry, um, as she felt that like Colleen was lying, uh, grabbing Colleen. Uh, she grabbed Colleen and need her in the face.
She then grabbed the meat cleaver and sliced Colleen in the stomach to Daryl, then gashed her across the chest, which I read that in a, um, news article. So I had to look up what does gashed actually means. It's basically just, uh, stabbed her in the chest, but pretty deep, I guess with the box cutter, I'm assuming it didn't say which, um, isn't a meat cleaver, like, uh, the, the, uh, Pounder or whatever.
Yeah, it's like the bigger [00:28:00] metal one, but this was a small version of that. So it was a small, like a meat cleaver is like a, a wider Got it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Piece of metal. Got it. Okay. Yeah. Like squareish, receded English. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, so, um. All happening quickly, Colleen cried out and begged them to stop.
However, they didn't, um, using the box cutter, they proceeded to mutilate Colleen's body. Um, they even carved a pentagram into her chest, uh, with the meat cleaver, which the media went wild, um, with and drove this, uh, this narrative, them being a demonic teenage killer, um, even more because when you carve a pentagram, it's, it's.
It's seen as a satanic kind of ritual. Why would you do that? Well, exactly. So, um, for about 30 to 40 minutes, both Krista and to Darryl, um, when at it, as should Ola watched, um, as a lookout. So, by the time the duo started to get tired, Colleen was still alive, covered in over 300 wounds and bleeding out. Um, Krista, out of exhaustion, anger, and whatever else she was feeling at the time, [00:29:00] uh, grabbed a chunk of asphalt nearby.
Um, so she went over then to Colleen, lifted it up, and drove it down repeatedly, um, onto Colleen's head. Um, killing Colleen after, uh, nearly an hour of torturing her. Then the three got up, um, covered, um, up her body and leaves and then went to a nearby gas station to wash up. They dumped the, uh, dumped a box of Colleen's belongings, like her ID, um, and headed back to the dorms around 11 PM.
However, before they left, they left, Krista made sure to grab a fragment of Colleen's skull as a souvenir. Ew. Yep. She just grabbed it and put it in the pocket of her jacket, which it's, it's It kind of goes to show, that's why I wanted to do a little bit of that setup of who she was because it shows that she was, she's, her brain is not, she's obviously doesn't know what she's doing because she's willingly killing somebody and taking people, like, it's just, yeah, it's awful.[00:30:00]
I would say she probably knew what she was doing. Well, I mean, I'm sure she knew what she was doing, but the idea that, I don't even know where I was going with that. I don't either. Like, she's insane. No, she's completely insane. Um, but it's like, she's insane enough to be able to go and do that, which is the problem.
Yes. Yep. Yep. Um, Anyways, when Krista got back to the dorms, instead of keeping quiet or trying to hide anything, um, she decided to tell all of her friends and she even showed off the skull fragment. Of course. Yeah. So the next day, an employee of Job Corp was walking on the property and saw what he thought was a pile of animal remains.
Um, however, He was shocked to find an actual body. So with the rumors going around school, um, as soon as the police got to the school, they knew where to go first. Um, first checking the log books, uh, the police saw that the four left together. However, only the three of them arrived. Um, then they went, um, and.
Uh, [00:31:00] took all three teams in for questioning and started to search the rooms. Um, and in the search, the police were interested to find a satanic Bible, um, in, and an altar into Daryl's room. Um, and then they found some other stuff in, um, Krista's room, including the, um, Fragment of skull in her jacket pocket.
So when questioned, Krista confessed to the murder, but in, um, but she insisted that it was an accident telling them that they were only trying to scare her and it got out of control. Which then you wouldn't know how do you go out of control to kill someone? Yeah, but also you exactly brought the tools to yeah.
Okay, it's stupid. It's like it was premeditated. You knew what you were doing Yeah, so she also told the police and I have it in quotes. I said Colleen Do you know who's doing this to you? And she was just going ah, ah I told her to shut up.
So basically she asked Colleen if she knew who was, was a [00:32:00] butyl attacking her. Colleen couldn't talk and she told her to shut up and kept doing it. So that's lovely. Krista eventually gave them a play by play of where she dumped some of the evidence. Um, and retraced her steps, giving them all of the information, which I'm sure she was probably proud and telling them, Oh, for sure.
For sure. Fucking asshole. Um, so Krista and the others were obviously arrested and charged with murder and conspiracy to commit murder. So on March 22nd, 1996, the trial began. Um, and really there wasn't much to prove Krista innocent because she told them everything and she had pieces of her skull and all of this.
So, um, um, After two and a half hours of deliberation, the jury came back with a guilty verdict on both counts. So on March 30th, March 30th, Krista was sentenced to 25 years for conspiracy, conspiracy of murder. Um, and then she was also sentenced to death. by electrocution for the murder of Colleen. On the other hand, um, to Daryl [00:33:00] was given life with the possibility of parole.
Um, and Shadola received probation after pleading guilty for being an accessory after the fact probation. Yes. Probation because she was the lookout. She didn't do anything. She looked out exactly. Um, and there's, I saw a lot of different things because, um, uh, Krista was already 18. They thought Uh, we could go after her for, um, as an adult to Daryl was 17.
So they gave him a lesser sentence because of what state was this in, um, uh, Tennessee. Okay. This is interesting because it makes me think of, um, what we were watching last night, which was that, um, New York city, uh, homicide show that we're watching. And, um, they talked about that in New York that if you're a, Even there, you're not the one who committed, like, actually killing somebody, but you were there.
Um, and like at the scene you are charged with the same. Yeah, which you should. [00:34:00] I mean, you, you aren't stopping it. You were this. Yeah. You're actively helping. Yeah. Like that was your job. I didn't see anything anywhere that's made it sound like she thought like she had to, or that she would be threatened or that she'd be hurt.
No, she just, she did it. So I think probation for something like that is getting off. And if you're out there, you are a murderer. Done. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, yeah. Anyway, so in 2002, Krista, against her lawyer's advisement, asked the courts to drop her appeals and she sought to be executed, which Judy Mary Beth Labout Leibowitz, sorry, uh, granted and scheduled the execution date for August 19th, 2002.
However, on July 8th, Krista changed her mind and filed a motion to allow the appeals process to continue, which was denied, except on August 2nd. Um, a state appeals court panel of three different judges ruled that they should continue with the appeals process and she was not [00:35:00] executed. So just like a handful of days before she was actually supposed to be executed.
So throughout the years, uh, Chris's attorney tried to appeal the conviction and every time they were denied, uh, by, uh, 2020, the Tennessee attorney general, Herbert Slater D requested, um, the Tennessee Supreme court to set an execution date. However, because of COVID Krista's lawyer, lawyers were able to get an extension by the court, allowing them more time.
And there was some other stuff, um, where she, they tried to appeal some more and it was denied. So currently Krista is still on death row awaiting her execution date for murder that happened in 1995. Wow. Yeah. So I have some facts, interesting facts in here. Most of them are quotes. So Krista was once quoted after the murder saying, I had more than my fair share of trauma growing up.
And I realized that I knew you were going to shake your head at that. And I realized that so many others, uh, that didn't commit violent crimes. [00:36:00] Wait, let me re say that. I just messed that sentence up. I had more than my fair share of trauma growing up and I realized that so many others have that didn't commit crimes.
Yes. Didn't make violent crimes. I don't use that or anything else as an, as an excuse for what I did. There is no excuse for what I did. I take full responsibility for my actions and regret everything that happened that night. If I could take it all back, I would. And not only to get myself out of prison.
I know that's what a lot of people assume. I've already spent a lifetime in here and I have no expectations of ever leaving these fences. That's not what it's about. I only want my situation to be looked at now through the eyes of logic, instead of anger and unanswered. Um, and instead of anger and answered the question of if I deserve to die for a crime committed by three people, I'm not even close to being the same person I was over 25 years ago.
Which I mean, yes, however, you've also been in prison and you couldn't continue to be [00:37:00] that person. Yeah, but it's also a really interesting response because I would agree that you are one of three. Yes. Um, and you know, this kind of goes into that, the, the death penalty debate as well. But I, I feel like. I'm actually happy to hear that to be like, yeah, I went through my fair share of trauma.
Like, so did I, and I'm not murdering anyone. Exactly. I'm in general. We're not in general. I've never, never murdered anyone. She's also not using it as that crutch to be like, she's not. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like she's actually identified. And that sounded really just I'm assuming this was like whatever years after I didn't say when the only thing I don't like is, is, is her saying like, I want people to think of this logically.
What you did was not logic. No. So how could anybody think of that? I feel like people are absolutely allowed to be angry and act out of anger, especially the person's family who you, you know, so I agree. It's now, it's a difficult thing. Yeah. With that, the last fact I have is a, a letter she wrote to, to [00:38:00] Daryl.
After sentencing, which is completely different and interesting. So I'll say that one last. Okay. So I have two more before that. So, um, again, I, um, I, uh, mentioned a site called mercy for Krista. It's basically, uh, a support site that talks about how when you're that young, the brain development in some with adolescent brain damage paired with the untreated mental health conditions to be taken into consideration.
Um, they also say that her lawyers failed to present any of that evidence in, in court. Um, pertaining to her past trauma, which may have played a role in the murder. So it's basically a support group for, or a support, um, uh, yeah, group that was created to help Krista, uh, get her sentencing change. And there's like, um, um, not polls, but, um, a list that you can submit your name to, to help with the movement and whatever, which it's the first time doing anything like this, that I saw that for a murderer, which I thought was interesting.
Now I get the idea that, um, this trauma [00:39:00] and, um, having mental health issues and whatever could be important in cases like this. Um, Uh, but I thought it was interesting and it made me think of that saying like our murderers born or were made or made. Um, and like for me, I think she kind of, she was, I think in a sense born because of the trauma that she was induced before she was even born.
But yet she was, she was bred into abuse and does that play a role? And I think it's an interesting thing to think about. However, it's still not okay that she did it. Environment also I think contributed to. Yeah, absolutely. So, um, another interesting fact, um, in 2001, she was a part of an, an, another attempted murder while she was in prison, which I think it's the parallels of her story because there's pieces where you're like, I might feel a little bad, but then you did this shitty thing.
Um, and so, um, she was a part of another attempted murder while she was in prison, which she was [00:40:00] charged first degree attempted murder. Um, and allegedly she was recorded saying, I wrapped that shoestring around her and tied and tried to choke the dot dot life out of her. She was passed out on the ground.
Mama twitching, foaming at the mouth. Her eyeballs was bulging out so far. Her eyelids were flipped up. Okay. So she got sentenced and charged for that. So, okay. So this last one is, um, a letter that she wrote to D to Darrell, uh, right after the murder. Um, she put hi love. I just want you to know how much I love you.
I have 10 months left to live Imagine that I'd spend every moment with you if I could baby I want to tell I want you to tell them you lied in your statement and go along with mine Okay, please write me. I miss you so much. You see what I get for trying to be nice to that Ho, I went ahead and Bashed her brains out, so she'd quickly die instead of letting her bleed to death and they fucking fry me.
Ain't that [00:41:00] some shit? Please write me and tell me what you're feeling. Also tell your lawyer if he wants me to testify for you, I will love you for the rest of my life. Little devil. Wow. So that gives some perspective of her mindset right after. Wow. The murder. I hate her. Yeah. So Chris is a. I'll see you next Tuesday.
I watched this one. I love how you just stopped. did. She's a cunt. That's what she is. Chris is a cunt. So, that is the story of the only woman on Tennessee's death row. That's a good one, bub. Yeah. Damn. There you have it. All right. Well. You ready for yours? Fuck you, Krista. Yeah. Fuck you, Krista. Um, yeah. I'm ready.
Hello. Hello. Okay. I said hello, darling. How long, darling, well, how long? Okay. So my story today has a, a title [00:42:00] and it is titled, uh, a weirdo Satanist named Moises Moises Moises that reminds me of like, um, moist, I don't know. I was going to say, it reminds me of, um, the Marvelous Miss Maisel. Was it one of the characters named Moises?
Oh, maybe. I don't remember. Probably. It sounds like a, now that's ringing a bell. Um, yes. Oh, it's ringing a bell. Ding, ding, ding. A weirdo Satanist named Moises. Okay. So it was February 4th of 2011 when an 18 year old walked into the Huntington Park police department to report a crime. He quickly confessed that he had killed his mother, then put her body in a freezer in the home they shared in Maywood.
Oh, that forthcoming. Ding, ding, ding. Hours earlier, his cousin had arrived at his apartment after he called her to have, um, her pick him up. They left, ate, and then she began asking, she began asking him, I can't talk. [00:43:00] Rewind. They ate. Nope. They left eight and then she began asking him if everything was okay.
Things just seemed a bit off. She wanted to make sure that he was okay because his girlfriend had actually passed away recently from a car accident. So she was like checking in in general. Um, he was pretty hesitant and responding and kind of started saying some stuff and then said, like, some things happened.
So she was like, okay, she dug in a little bit more and he confessed that he had killed his mom. After explaining what he did, his cousin took him to the police station, um, which is where he went to the Huntington. Good for you cousin. So this is actually the story of Moises Moraes Espinosa, uh, an 18 year old who prosecutors described as a Satan worshiper, worshiper who brutally killed his mother in the spring of 2011.
How weird. We both picked 18 year olds. I know, I didn't know that you had an 18 year old. That's really weird. So, one of the things that I want to mention is that I found a lot of my [00:44:00] information from a podcast um, that is is out there that you can listen to and you should. Um, it's called JUROR number 8 podcast and it is a five part series um, of this specific case.
So they like go pretty deep into it. They do, but it's actually Um, a podcast that's done by a standup comedian. His name is Matt Walker. And, and, uh, he does it with Steven Kramer Glickman. Um, and they actually host another show called The Nighttime Show, where they interview celebrities and all this kind of stuff.
Yeah. So they're pretty well known. The interesting thing is, is that they're in la um, this case was in for, or Florida. Jesus was in California and close. Um, they're so close. Yeah. Matt Walker, the standup comedian. Was juror number eight on interesting case. Oh, that's really interesting. Cool. So, um, he did, hence the name.
Correct. But it's also like there is also a juror number eight, um, in a play, uh, in a 12 angry men. And so, uh, when I was like looking stuff up, I'm like, why does this keep pulling up? And that was why. [00:45:00] But anyway, yeah, so juror number eight podcast. Um, so, and if you just go to like druid number eight podcast, I think.
com, uh, you can listen to it there, but it's on like all streaming platforms, but go listen. It's actually really interesting to hear it from the perspective of a juror as well. That's really interesting. Anyway. Um, with that, let me dive in. This is a quick one because there's not a lot of like, it's just not.
I don't know. It, the case is, is interesting. And like the reason that drew number eight podcast was so good was because it's from his perspective, which is like jury selection all the way into like deliberations and conviction or whatever. So really cool. But I don't have a lot. So this guy, um, Moises, so there's some information on like his childhood, but really it's just that his mom and dad divorced.
Um, but, um, his mom and dad had the relationship where his dad still kind of really took care of his mom. Um, in general, so he would like pick her up and take her to work and all this kind of stuff, which I thought was really compelling and interesting. [00:46:00] He Moises did not have a great relationship with his mom, clearly.
Uh, so I'm going to jump right to the murder because you're just going right in. It's really interesting. So anyway, um, February 2nd, 2011, so Moises was a, uh, a satanist. Like I, he had, uh, the Bible, the book of what is it? Um, well there's a couple of things. So he loved the band King Diamond, which King Diamond isn't like a satanist band.
It's just a heavy metal band with a lot of their, which in that genre, a lot of the music is very, it lends itself to the Satan crowd, the satan crowd, the satan crowd, satan, satan, satan, I don't know. And that's Satan. Whatever. Okay. So sleuths for Satan, sleuths for Satan. Um, so anyway, he, uh, was very much into that kind of, um, genre.
And [00:47:00] then he, he had a Bible, like the Satan Bible, the satanic, satanic, satanic, satanic. I can't even fucking say it at this point, satanic Bible. So he had that and all this kind of stuff. So let me, okay. So that, that day Moises gets into a fight with his mom. Her name was Amelia Espin, Espinosa. Uh, she was 42 years old.
So, um, they're arguing and, um, I think that the argument kind of, uh, ends, but not well, so he goes and starts blasting music by the band King diamond, which was his favorite and, uh, grabbed a rope, walked up to his mom and just strangled her to death. Yeah. He was like, I'm done. Just that easy. Done here. So he strangles her to death.
Trigger warning. Here's where shit gets fucked up. So he then decided, Oh, I'm not done here. So he covers the shower, the bathroom shower floor [00:48:00] walls with plastic. Oh no. And this isn't going to end nicely. It gets box cutters and knives and starts to fillet her skin and skin her. Then he cuts her into a whole bunch of pieces, moves her fingers and her toes, and, um, starts placing pieces into a freezer that was just in the living room, which I think is bizarre.
And I'll dive into that a little bit more because I'm going to describe the crime scene. Like, this seems like this happened so like effortlessly. Sure. Yeah. Agreed. Um, he then peels. Okay. Okay. When you start a sentence with, he then peeled. Peeled is such a horrible word. That is, I, I don't want to know what he peeled.
Like, like you peel a banana, right? But this is horrible. So he cuts off her head, uh, and peels the skin off of her head, removing all the content. We should have said trigger warning there. I did. Trigger warning throughout [00:49:00] this entire thing. Um, he then carved upside down crosses into her skull. Oh my gosh.
He then placed her skull into a backpack, carrying it around for the next two days. What? So, yeah. Like carried it around with him? Yep. So that's just the murder in general, right? So the murder is like gruesome and brutal and whatever. So from that podcast, um, obviously he had Matt, I think Matt, Like this view, um, obviously into the crime scene as a juror, because you have photos and all this kind of stuff.
It is horrible. Oh, so I'm going to describe kind of a little bit here. So this is obviously, I know. So he turned himself into the police station. He confessed like literally within two days. Um, and so they of course locked him up. Um, and so at the start of this trial, the judges like, This is a very graphic, like be, please be prepared because this is going to be quite graphic.
Oh my God. I couldn't imagine having to look at all of those. So I'm going to describe the crime scene in general. So the crime scene full size freezer on the floor of the living room that [00:50:00] was unplugged and laying on its back. It's really bizarre, but Just imagine that in some apartment that that so that it's in the middle though.
Okay. Yeah, there's blood everywhere It is a very very messy crime scene. So the shower was covered in blood There were plastic tarps Like places with blood there was an electrical circular saw found with pieces of bone Oh my god, and flesh stuck to the blade They found a skin and muscles and additional body parts stored in plastic bags in the freezer.
The freezer was not plugged in. What was the point of the, it just is like using it as a trunk, like, so images in the trial showed gruesome photos of body body parts that were being cataloged. So this jury had to sit through photos of like, he even describes, um, like them holding up a toe and him being like, uh, I.
Oh my God. Like I, like that's a, that's a toe. So very interesting. And it was like cleanly cut, [00:51:00] like just horrible. Um, so anyway, uh, that backpack had her skull in it. And as I said, he had peeled all the skin away. He removed all the teeth, the eyes, Everything. Oh my God. This is disgusting. And he actually, I know he actually, how, how anybody can do any of that?
Like, so he also talked about like the, um, so the, the skull looked like. He was like, it was so, it was like, it was clear that there was like still some blood on it, but it was like a clean, like he, it was like, it was just a skull. Yeah. Um, and so, uh, and then he, of course I had cards, those upside down crosses into the school as well.
Now. So the narrative of the, of the satanic stuff was really pushed here because, um, well, when he was gotten in prison, he got a tattoo of the same upside down cross on his neck. Oh, that's great. But, uh, and then of course they found a copy of the satanic Bible at the scene too. But, um, the logo of the band [00:52:00] King diamond is also an upside down cross.
So they really pushed this narrative, which I'll go over a little bit into the satanic stuff because it makes sense, especially with like carving. upside down crosses in your mom's skull. Like that's just, it's crazy. But then there was also, um, there was also a part that he described it and I won't go too, too into it, but it was like her hip section where her private parts are.
Um, and he, uh, yeah, took all that out. So it was just this gaping hole. It's just, it's awful. Like it's, it's pretty fucking awful. So anyway, um, yeah. It's terrifying. Yeah. The thing to note here is that there were no internal organs recovered. No clue where they are. None. No, like none. That's it was just, that's weird.
And he never admitted to where he took it. No. Um, so During the trial, they brought in a satanic expert. So he did this on February 2nd. And there's a significance to that date. [00:53:00] Um, and it's a satanic holiday that's called Candlemas, um, I guess. And it's the halfway point between winter solstice and spring equinox.
Um, and, uh, basically they said that you need to commit sacrifices on that. Oh, cool. So the expert states that his mom was likely a human sacrifice in like, like Um, and there was like no rationale behind why it was just, no. Yeah. Um, so the music that he was obviously listening to was satanic. Um, according to an expert, they also found his hard drive.
Um, and he had Google searches that were like satanic rituals, Satanism, images of album covers, depicting the same stuff. Um, he looked up human sacrifice and then, um, He would also look at the lyrics to the King Diamond songs, which also were like similar to those searches too, um, in general. So I feel like some people shouldn't have access to be able to search things like that.
Yeah. I mean, the internet's a crazy place. It's for sure. [00:54:00] But, um, so ultimately, yeah, they get in a fight, he decides to kill her and then he just literally mutilates the shit out of her body. Um, it carries around her skull for a few days. He had his like other bones of hers. Like he had her bones in a bag or something.
Um, and it like, it's wild. And, uh, yeah. But when his cousin kind of came and picked him up, it was like, it was, He went in and confessed in general. Um, it just, it just, it's such a weird story. Just like, he's like, okay, I guess I'll go in and tell them. Yeah. So Moises, uh, and he does like, he just goes and like divulges it.
Um, like it's nothing. Basically. Yeah. And so, um, again, like this was a quick one, but I was like, this is really fucked. And I, the, the interesting thing about this other podcast, which I encourage you to go listen to for sure. Sure. Number eight podcast. Um, the verdict, the last Los Angeles County superior court judge was Thomas, um, McNew [00:55:00] jr.
He actually is quoted as saying that the slaying, uh, quote, certainly ranks up there at the top of the most disgusting, hideous, and vulgar cases that he has seen in 15 years. Mm-Hmm. , yeah. Um, in legal professions. So 15 years I could imagine anything. So, uh, Norwalk, uh, superior court jury deliberated just over a day.
So again, Matt was a part of that deliberation. And, uh, of course they found him guilty of first degree murder and he was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison. Um, which is interesting. So yeah, again, really, uh, not like a huge thing. There was a lot of information that was a quick, but really fucked up.
Well, I know. Well, and, and just like, uh, I, yeah, the, the photo, like I didn't, I don't even know. Like it was, I was reading it and I'm like, this is just gross. It's awful. Like it's gross. Like it just is. I mean, I don't think there's really any reason to kill anybody, but this is like, why would I just, the whole fact, the whole idea of [00:56:00] not just killing, but taking the piece, the body apart and doing stuff with that is like killing is one thing and it's just, that is another level.
That is a. Like there's something absolutely wrong with this situation with him. Like, well, I don't get how somebody could go that far. And I think teenagers in general don't love their parents. Right. Because that's just like adolescence is a wild time. Um, so, and, and apparently she was like, she did not like that he listened to the music and was like getting into this, um, say satanistic shit, uh, in general.
But, um, to like go and murder your mom and then, um, Literally tear her body apart. It's terrifying. And where are her organs? Right. Like what did you do? The fuck did you do? And it's interesting because like a different Jeffrey Dahmer situation, I don't know, who knows, but, um, the defense, uh, definitely kind of through this narrative or somebody was throwing the narrative around that he didn't do it alone because I think it was a [00:57:00] defense.
Um, they were kind of like, He was like, he was a, he was 18. So like, how did he know the like precision to like fillet, they literally said he filleted her, which is the fucking, like he knew what he was doing when he was cutting her apart. Um, and just all of that kind of stuff. And, and it's like, I mean, but I mean, if he's already looking stuff up online, that's totally something that I'm sure he could look up online.
Yeah. Not necessarily how to play a human, but to do that to another animal, which he can then do to somebody and I just, I don't even know. I, I don't know where, I don't know. I mean, it was, it was just kind of terrifying and really gross. And, um, you know. I am, it was interesting too, because they, they mentioned atheism and like how a lot of people align atheism with Satanism.
And I thought that was really interesting. But even like, I guess the, the church of, um, or whatever, of like the Satanists or like they, the human sacrifice is actually not a part of it, um, [00:58:00] in general. And um, I thought that was interesting. Kind of interesting. And it made me start thinking about like, okay, atheism compared to being agnostic, you know, to being like, um, Satanist to being like a Christian.
Um, and it's, it's interesting kind of this ideology that travels these, um, well, there's a lot of parallels with it all. There are. Yeah. And, uh, and it was just kind of, my mind starts to go to like, what was he thinking? Like what was like, do people. It's like murder is such a permanent end and like, do these people realize that I, like, I, I don't, and maybe they just love, I don't know.
I don't know. It's fucking crazy reading this one. I was like, there's just not a lot of like stuff here or backstory or anything else to like add into this. And just like, this is what happened. Yeah. Um, in general, but I do think that the, the tie in with the Matt Walker and Steven Kramer, uh, Glickman, um, Um, [00:59:00] who did this?
Um, Matt really is, is who drove the podcast with, with, um, Steven responding. Uh, but it was really compelling to kind of hear him talk about it. And the episodes aren't that long. It's like 15 to 20 minutes. Um, and I think that there's six, uh, and he like goes through like the jury selection process to like the, the trial.
Yeah. Like it's, it's actually really, it was really cool to listen to. I listened to it all. And, um, yeah. And I didn't take too, too much from him, uh, because I encourage you to go listen to it. Cause it was really interesting. You can do it in one day. Uh, like I did. And, uh, it was just really Yeah. Well done.
But also really, really interesting to hear it from the perspective of a juror. Yeah. And cause I've gotten called to jury duty a lot, but I've never served. I haven't had, Oh no, I haven't either. Yeah. So to be like into this one and be like, Oh, here's this fucked up murder. Right. It's like, like living your life and getting thrown into this.
And then all of a sudden you're seeing these awful images. Well, he said that the images like have burned in his brain. Oh, I'm [01:00:00] sure. And I can only, I can only imagine. I know there's, it's just the U S government traumatizing people. I know. Well, he, and he said that like, it was interesting to hear his perspective too, because he's, he loves heavy metal.
Um, like he could kind of, I wouldn't say sympathize, but, but maybe it wasn't totally satanic in his opinion. Um, which I thought was really interesting. Um, but he was like, At one point, he was like, they played the song and he was like, oh, I need to make sure that I'm not like jamming to it, liking this song or whatever.
'cause this, you know, whatever. And I'm like, fuck man. That, yeah, that's, uh, that's interesting. But yeah, uh, yeah, it was a really interesting one. Again, a quick story. Yeah. Um, that was a good one though. Yeah. Like, like brutal and awful and disgusting and like, don't do that to people. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, just don't kill anybody.
Life lessons don't kill anyone. I love how at the top of the show, we were just like a hot ass mess. And now we're both like, wow, I wouldn't say we, Oh, [01:01:00] well, I think that I could agree with that.
Um, yeah, that one was wild. So, um, episode 18, dang, fuck Satan, eat a banana. Wait, what was it again? Fuck Satan, eat a banana. Why am I like this? I don't know. I ask myself that all the time, but I signed up for it. I could, I could fit into the, I had a bad childhood and I am trauma and it's made me weird.
Let's not murder anybody though. Yeah. I'm not going to do that. Please. Yeah. I'm not going to do any of that. Like ever. I think, I think I'm all right, right? Like do you, I mean so far, but you better figure out how you answered that real quick. Just kidding. No, I think that, listen, I. Um, I think it's worth saying that I do think that traumas impact you for sure.
Oh, 100 percent certainly things that, that, you know, I, I do have a hard time when I see other people with parents because I don't have them. I, I have a [01:02:00] hard time with, uh, trust and love for sure. It takes me a while to get to those places and it can be hard. So I do think that they're, that traumas can impact you.
Life, they impact you life. For your life. Oh, lifelong things. But, um, I, you do have a choice in how you live your life and how you respond and react to those. Yeah. And therapy is incredibly important, I think. And being transparent and addressing your shit because there was a time when I, you know, there were some actions that I was like, oof, you quit that.
Um, and I started calling myself out and being, you know, You know, like, stop doing that. Yeah. Like, and, and humiliating myself being work. Like, I'm so sorry I did this. Let me, let me backtrack. Um, and uh, and really it was just like kind of having elaborate stories in general, which is like a common thing for, for kids for attention.
So yeah, I think that, you know, while I do believe kind of going back into this Krista chick, right? [01:03:00] Krista, Krista, um, like, things do impact you, but you do have a choice to be like, let me, let me choose to live a different Yeah. Life. And I have a hard time, uh, often with even people who are related to me that talk about their, their traumas.
And I'm like, okay, yeah, I get it. Believe me. Like you can decide to not let it impact you. Yeah. Um, and work through your shit. Something hard to do when you don't feel like you have the support to do it. I would agree with that. But again, you have to be your own advocate and find that support at times you won't have the support in general.
Like you, you won't. Yeah. So I didn't at all. And there's oftentimes that I don't even let the support in if I do have it. So yeah, I, I decided when I was, I think it was, cause I got kicked out when I was 18, um, and, uh, for my adopted family. Um, and then, yeah, I just kind of chose to like, I don't know, figure it out, focus on not [01:04:00] wanting to live a life or, or certainly live within the circumstances that I was given.
So, um, and now here I am. I think in general, I've had some shit along the way, always will. And believe me, it sucks to not to like abandonment sucks a lot. The feeling of that never goes away. It's really difficult and it definitely can come out in certain ways. But I, yeah, I, I think that every human has the capacity to work through some stuff and to live the life that they want.
I do think things impact for sure. And there's definitely inequalities that impact that too. Like when people find out I'm a former foster child, They get weird. Like if they, when they find out, like there was sexual abuse in my past, they get weird. Um, and I get it, which is just so ridiculous. Yeah, I agree.
And I, and I understand, but um, I don't, it's uninformed. Yeah. Like you're like, well, it's people just not doing the work to understand what any of that is. And it will. And it's sometimes it's vanity. I think [01:05:00] people like are, are in the industry or working with, like I was at a, at a former There was an organization here in Tampa that I was on the board of and they were horrible.
Um, and they were not acting in the best interest of what I felt were the kids in the system. And instead it was a vanity. It's a vanity organization. Yep. They, they have a lot of money. It's that white savior complex. Well, and when I was in a board meeting and, and was trying to diversify the board and, and had to explain white privilege and then find out that I offended everybody by explaining that.
Um, I'm like, yeah, that's about you, not me, uh, for sure. But. Yeah, it's, it's interesting that I, I just wish that we had the right people to be able to help people understand the power that they actually have to control their own narrative. So, and that was serious. That was serious. It was like a hot SMS at the top of the show.
And then we were like, here's some therapy brought back to them to life. I know therapy with therapy with [01:06:00] Kevin trauma bonding with Kevin. We should have a segment and trauma bonding with Kevin. If you have some traumas, share them with us. We would love to know what is your trauma? Isn't that a line in a movie?
Probably is her trauma. I don't remember. Anyway, so episode 18. What's episode 19? Do we know yet? Um, we've gone back and forth on a few things. So. Show have, well, I guess you all will have to listen next week. We'll, week, week to find out. And hopefully it'll be on the right day, , maybe. Um, but, uh, please again subscribe to our YouTube channel if you like watching us on video.
Uh, if you follow us, uh, or if you listen to us on any of the podcast platforms, please, please follow. Yeah. Uh, download, be our friend, review, be our friend. Tell us how much you love us on Apple. Yes, and we are on social media, so, uh, we do have a TikTok. and Instagram and Facebook and homicide the book. Yeah.
I think, I think we have a [01:07:00] tweet or we do have a tweet or I think we ended up putting that up on there. Yeah. It was like maybe some Republicans will want to listen to this. Unlikely. Twitter's not just for politics and porn. It's for, that's what I use it for the podcast. Um, yeah, no. Yeah. Wherever you're on, please give us a follow and share your stories with us and say hello.
And if not, that's fine too. Yeah. Thanks for following us along on this, uh, on this journey and have a great day. Yes. Have a great day. Goodbye.